Oh no, what are you going to do now? You told yourself, and likely others, that you would do “it” next year. You said to yourself, “next year will be the year I take control of my future.” You told yourself that “next year will be different.”

Well now you, and anyone else you told, are about to find out if you were being honest with them…and yourself. You see that’s one of the biggest problems with lying to yourself, it causes you to lie to other people too. Even if you don’t intend to.

Self-improvement begins with you being 100% honest with yourself. No hedging, no compromises, no BS. Until you are completely honest with yourself you’re very unlikely to have the life that you want and deserve.

Being honest with yourself is a crucial aspect of personal growth and self-awareness. It involves acknowledging your thoughts, feelings, and actions without self-deception or rationalization. Here are some steps to help you be more honest with yourself.

Self-reflection

• Set aside time regularly to reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

• Consider keeping a journal to document your experiences and insights. I’ve said this before but the journaling app on the iPhone is a great tool. It’s perfect for self-reflection.

Identify your values

• Understand your core values and principles. This will serve as a foundation for evaluating your actions and decisions. If you’re not sure what core values are then Google it. Don’t think for a minute that you don’t have core values because you certainly do. It just takes time to identify them and bring them to the top of your mind so you can live accordingly.

Acceptance

• Embrace all aspects of yourself, including your strengths and weaknesses. Avoid judgment and self-criticism.

• Accept that everyone makes mistakes, and view them as opportunities for learning and growth. No one has ever learned from a mistake they refuse to admit… don’t be a no one.

Challenge your beliefs

• Question your assumptions, beliefs, and preconceived notions. Are they based on evidence, or are they influenced by bias or wishful thinking? The most successful know better than to believe everything they think.

Seek feedback

• Ask for honest feedback from trusted friends, family members, or mentors. They may provide valuable perspectives you might not have considered.

Be accountable

• Take responsibility for your actions and decisions. Avoid blaming external factors or other people for your circumstances. If you’re good at making excuses it will be highly likely that you’re not good at making anything else.

Set realistic goals

• Establish achievable and meaningful goals for yourself. Regularly assess your progress and adjust your goals as needed. It is okay to occasionally set a big stretch goal, just don’t do it so often that it prevents you from achieving more realistic goals.

Listen to your intuition

• Pay attention to your gut feelings and instincts. These can provide valuable insights into your true thoughts and emotions.

Admit when you’re wrong

• Be open to admitting mistakes and learning from them. This requires humility and a willingness to grow.

Learn from failures

• View failures as opportunities to learn and improve. Analyze what went wrong, and use that knowledge to make better choices in the future.

Practice self-compassion

• Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. Understand that nobody is perfect, and self-improvement is a continuous journey.

Being honest with yourself is an ongoing process. It requires self-awareness and a commitment to personal growth. Regularly reassess your thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs to ensure alignment with your values and goals.

That creates an easy, constructive and completely honest conversation with yourself and that’s the beginning of honest conversations with everyone.