Okay, I’d be the first to admit that on the surface, there is a whole lot to complain about these days. I won’t list them all here cause I like to keep my posts under a million words. But we know what the big ones are. When we add in our own little pet peeves it’s pretty easy to be complaining all the time.

But that is incredibly unproductive. It’s also unhealthy. It robs you of your joy. It’s steals your creativity. It makes you less fun to be around, I mean let’s face it, we don’t even like ourselves when we’re in complainer mode.

It’s so easy to fall into the complainer trap. We often do it without giving it a second thought. Someone asks us how our day is going and we launch into a stream of everything that’s wrong in the world. All that accomplishes is making the person regret asking us in the first place.

If you want to stop being a complainer you need to give your answer a second thought. When someone says how is your day going consider the impact your words will have on their day. Do you want to make their day better or drag them down to your level? One of the surest ways to up the positivity of your own day is to consider your impact on other people.

Here are a few thoughts on what you may want to be thinking about when you’re giving your answer that “second thought.”

• Self-awareness: The first step to change is recognizing that you tend to complain. Pay attention to your thoughts and speech patterns. Are you frequently expressing dissatisfaction or negativity about various aspects of your life? Acknowledging the issue is the first step towards improvement.

• Identify triggers: Determine what prompts you to complain. Is it stress, frustration, boredom, or a particular situation or person? Understanding your triggers can help you address the root causes of your complaints.

• Practice gratitude: Cultivate a mindset of gratitude by regularly acknowledging the positive aspects of your life. You can keep a gratitude journal where you write down things you’re thankful for each day. This practice can shift your focus away from complaining and towards appreciation.

• Reframe your thoughts: Instead of dwelling on what’s wrong, make an effort to reframe your thoughts and focus on solutions and positive aspects. When something bothers you, try to find a more constructive perspective and identify actions you can take to address the issue.

• Limit exposure to negativity: Surround yourself with positive and supportive people. If you find that certain individuals or environments encourage complaining, consider reducing your exposure to them or setting boundaries to protect your positivity.

• Practice active listening: Be mindful of how much you complain in conversations with others. Instead of constantly talking about your own problems, listen actively to others, show empathy, and engage in meaningful discussions that don’t revolve around complaints.

• Problem-solving: If you have legitimate concerns or issues, focus on problem-solving rather than venting. Identify the problem, brainstorm potential solutions, and take action to address it. This proactive approach can help you feel more in control of your life.

• Maintain a positive mindset: Work on developing a more positive outlook on life. This can include reading self-help books, practicing mindfulness, or seeking the support of a therapist or counselor to address deeper issues that may contribute to your tendency to complain.

• Choose your words carefully: Pay attention to your language and try to avoid using overly negative or critical words. The way you express yourself can influence your mindset and how others perceive you.

• Set goals and stay focused: Having clear goals and a sense of purpose can help you stay motivated and positive. When you’re actively working towards something meaningful, you’re less likely to get caught up in complaining.

• Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and understand that everyone has moments of frustration or negativity. Don’t beat yourself up for complaining; instead, use it as an opportunity for self-improvement and growth.

• Seek support: If you find it challenging to stop complaining on your own, consider enlisting the support of friends, family, or a mentor who can help you on your journey to becoming a more positive and solution-oriented person.

Changing your habits and mindset takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress along the way. Over time, with consistent practice and self-awareness, you can become less of a complainer and more of a positive, solution-focused person.