I was in a meeting several years ago when someone in a very high leadership position asked “how do you teach someone to make a decision?” I responded by saying “you let them make decisions, sometimes even bad ones.”

I’m not sure that was a very well received answer, especially the “even bad ones” part. But it’s still true today, there is no better way for anyone to learn how to make decisions than to make them. It’s kind of like riding a bike. You can watch videos on bike riding, you can read a book on how to ride a bike but at some point, the only way to learn how to actually ride a bike is to ride one. Even if that means falling off a bunch of times.

But managers in organizations have a very difficult time allowing other people, particularly people lower than them in the organization, to make decisions. They “empower” them to make decisions but they seldom enable them. That prevents even empowered people from exercising that power. And that’s just fine with most managers.

Leaders however both empower and enable their people to make decisions. They offer suggestions, they coach and they provide feedback but they seldom overrule a decision made by someone they empowered. Even at times when they know the outcome will be less than optimal.

They won’t allow their people to make large, expensive mistakes but they know allowing the small, less costly mistakes from time to time might be the best investment they can make in the development of their people.

Once the mistake is realized they coach their people to “solve” the problem on their own…that’s the “learning” part of how to make better decisions.

But making big and difficult decisions can be daunting, whether it be in business or our personal lives. If you have difficult decisions to make here’s a process that may help.

1. Gather Information. Collect all relevant information about the decision at hand. This could include pros and cons, potential consequences, and any available data or insights. You may never have all the information you’d like to have but that’s okay, some of the additional steps below can help you fill in the blanks.

2. Define Criteria. Determine the criteria that are important for making the decision. This could involve considering your values, goals, priorities, and any constraints or limitations.

3. Explore Options. Brainstorm and explore different options or alternatives. Be creative and open-minded, considering both conventional and unconventional paths.

4. Evaluate Options. Assess each option against the criteria you defined earlier. Consider the potential outcomes, risks, and benefits associated with each option.

5. Consider Consequences. Think about the short-term and long-term consequences of each option. Consider how each decision could impact your life, as well as the lives of others involved. The best decision makers I know consider not only the consequences of a decision but the consequences of the consequences of the consequences. They are often a step or two ahead of everyone else involved in the decision making process. This is the level you should work towards.

6. Trust Your Instincts. While it’s important to analyze and weigh your options carefully, sometimes your gut feeling can provide valuable insight. Trust your intuition, especially if all options seem equally appealing or unappealing. That “intuition” is often a learning from a past experience you’ve had that your conscious mind doesn’t remember but your subconscious mind does.

7. Seek Advice. Talk to trusted friends, family members, mentors, or professionals who can offer different perspectives or insights on the decision. Sometimes an outside opinion can provide clarity.

8. Make the Decision. After thorough deliberation, make a decision. Trust that you’ve considered all relevant factors to the best of your ability.

9. Take Action. Once you’ve made a decision, take action to implement it. Be prepared to adjust your plan as needed based on new information or changing circumstances. You would be surprised by how many people execute those first 8 steps flawlessly and still somehow miss this step. It is not really a decision unless some action is taken as a result of it. That means if you skip step nine you have NOT actually made a decision.

10. Reflect and Learn. After the decision has been made and implemented, take time to reflect on the process. Consider what went well, what could have been done differently, and what lessons you can apply to future decisions.

Making decisions can be challenging, making difficult ones is even more challenging. It’s okay to feel uncertain at times. Trust in your ability to navigate through the process and learn from the experience, regardless of the outcome.

By following this process, the more decisions you make the better your decision making will become. There will always be another difficult decision to make in your life, there won’t however be a decision you’re not prepared to make.