Early in my career I was not a fan of criticism. Truth be told, I’m still not a huge fan of it. I, like most everyone else would prefer to hear accolades but let’s face it, criticism is a part of life.
That being the case, how we receive it and what we do with it will determine whether it hurts us or helps us. I decided long ago the best way to deal with criticism is by becoming my own worst critic. That way when someone criticizes me for something the odds are, I’ve already criticized myself for it.
That allows me to listen to the person’s opinion without becoming defensive. If I haven’t already criticized myself for the same thing I can evaluate whether or not they have a valid point and decide what I should do with it.
Sometimes I say thank you and mostly ignore it. But if it’s a valid point I try to use it to improve myself. It makes no difference if they meant it to be constructive criticism or destructive criticism, if it’s valid I can use it for my benefit.
But, and I think this is huge, I’m almost never willing to accept criticism from someone that I do not respect enough to receive advice from. If they are unsuccessful, if they have never done what they are telling me to do, or they are just a run of the mill know it all, I’ll dismiss their criticism quickly…hopefully with a bit of grace as well.
Accepting criticism gracefully is a valuable skill. It can lead to personal growth and improvement. It can lead to better communication and relationships. It can even get you more constructive criticism/feedback in the future.
If you’re interested in accepting criticism in a professional and even graceful manner, here’s a few ideas.
• Listen attentively: When receiving criticism, give the person your full attention. Listen to what they’re saying without interrupting. Focus on their perspective, listen to understand, not just to respond.
• Remain calm: It’s natural to feel defensive or upset when criticized, but try to stay composed. We don’t hear very well when we are mad. Take deep breaths if you need to. Avoid reacting impulsively or emotionally.
• Don’t take it personally: Remember that criticism is about your actions or behaviors, not your worth as a person. Separate your identity from the feedback you’re receiving.
• Ask for clarification: If the criticism is unclear or vague, don’t hesitate to ask for specific examples or details. This can help you better understand the issue and how to address it. If they can’t clarify their comment, or they speak in broad generalities, the criticism might be one to dismiss quickly.
• Express gratitude: Regardless of how the criticism is delivered, thank the person for their feedback. Acknowledge their effort in providing it, even if you don’t agree with everything they’ve said.
• Reflect on the feedback: Take some time to consider the criticism objectively. Think about whether there’s any truth to it and how you can use it to improve. Consider seeking input from others as well to gain different perspectives. This may take a few minutes or a few days, don’t rush it, you don’t want to miss the diamond in a box of rocks.
• Identify areas for growth: Use the criticism as an opportunity for self-reflection and growth. Look for specific actions you can take to address the feedback and make positive changes.
• Take action: Once you’ve reflected on the criticism, create a plan to implement any necessary changes. Set realistic goals and timelines for improvement.
• Follow up: Check in with the person who provided the criticism to let them know how you’re progressing. This shows that you value their feedback and are committed to making changes. This may require eating a bit of humble pie but that’s far better than choking on the same criticism again and again.
• Repeat the process: Accepting criticism is an ongoing journey. Continuously seek feedback from others and use it to fuel your personal and professional development. If you’re like me and always trying to improve there will be no shortage of people offering you “suggestion’s” along the way.
Don’t forget, you’re in complete control as to how you respond to criticism and how you use it. Don’t let someone else’s criticism slow you down. If it was constructive criticism use it as a springboard to greater success. If it was destructive criticism use as fuel to rocket yourself so far past their criticism that you’ll never hear from them again.